We're All Mad Here

When we got home from Christof’s party, William and I got a little distracted.

But that’s all right. Justin proved that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

He pushed open the the front door with no help at all

and headed straight to entertain himself.

I can tell that this kid and I are going to get along just fine.

I thought I heard an explosion while William and I were, ah, shaking the treehouse. If you know what I mean.

I thought our love was literally lighting things on fire, but it just turned out to be lawn gnomes. We totally need more lawn gnomes.

Imogen was back at work, keeping up her grades. I might have promised her we’d replace the cat-scratched furniture if she stayed on the honor roll.

Only when she was done did she take time to play video games with her sister. She the good habits I’m teaching my children?

Gideon and Franklin also bonded over homework. They both have big plans for the kind of money they’ll make when they graduate.

And here’s Micky being cute. Just because.

It was back to work for me. Bright at early, I was looking for new cases.

That led me to this psycho, who wanted me to find his missing lawn flamingo. What can I say? It’s a job.

At least the people love me. Or maybe they just enjoyed watching this guy embarrassing himself.

I started by asking the local burglar if she’d taken it. She was offended. She’d never waste her time on something that cheap. She has professional pride. I couldn’t blame her.

Then I got tough. “Was it you?” I demanded of Lucy, the local werewolf.

“What? Are you kidding? I hate lawn flamingos!”

But I found it. I always come through.

And it was worth it for the recognition.

Back at home, William was bonding with Justin.

This kid just can’t get enough of his block table. He’s going to be a handy little fellow.

He also really enjoys war machine toys and pretending to blow things up. Perfect.

The teens went on a field trip to the cemetery, which they all enjoyed entirely too much.

When they got home, William and Gideon bonded over comic books.

And witchcraft.

After which, William called Gideon an idiot and threatened to beat the snot out of him. Isn’t everyone’s family like this?

Meanwhile, Franklin and Helen took care of their baby brother.

They got Justin fed, changed and into bed.

While William made sure that Imogen got the bedtime attention she needed.

And I stood in the rain, rifling through somebody’s mail. Sometimes I really question my choice of careers.

But this is who I am, and I’m feeling pretty good about it overall.

I’m a successful gumshoe, and I keep the best undead partner at home.

And I can zap appliances and turn them blue.

These two things combine together well.

Gideon decided he had better things to do than sleep.

He got it into his head to have a midnight cookout.

If I were going to teach myself to cook, I’d probably have started with something that didn’t involve open flame.

It went sort of how you might expect.

But I only heard about it when I went out on the back patio and found the charred cinder that used the grill. Gideon handled the problem by himself. I slept through the whole incident.

Helen got tired of waiting for the hot dogs and conjured an apple for a snack.

She probably should have checked to see what kind of apple it was first.

Gideon wasn’t going to give up. Since now it was almost dawn, he decided to make breakfast instead.

I think at that point, he was hallucinating from lack of sleep.

Helen gave up on Gideon and went to bed. On William’s coffin.

Gideon was now by himself. The waffles came out fine, though!

They were so nice that Mum’s ghost dropped by for breakfast.

Waffles and coffee.

A great way to start the morning. Even if you’re dead.

At this point, Gideon looked around and noticed that everyone else was sleeping, even the cats. Maybe that’s what most living beings were doing at dawn.

Maybe it would be a good idea to head to bed too.

Minnie thought it was such a good idea that she had stolen his bed. She didn’t appreciate it when he kicked her off.

But, he managed to get into bed without passing out from exhaustion.

Now the only one awake was Justin, who somebody let out of his crib. He was busy educating himself as usual.

———-

Fires in Home: 3 + 1 = 4

Man, Justin is just extra cute in all those classic toddler animations. I don’t know what it is about his face.

I feel like I should have had funnier commentary. This was a hilarious segment to play through. I can’t believe Gideon managed to get to bed without either failing or burning down the house. And he put out his own fire! He didn’t even skip a beat. No freaking out. He just grabbed the fire extinguisher and put it out. He’s not Brave or Daredevil. I didn’t think he was even capable of that. Gideon is a Snob and a Savvy Sculptor, even though I haven’t been able to get him to do any sculpting. The Snob trait would make him pretty entertaining if he became heir.

I think I’m kept to the rule that autonomous eating of poisoned apples does not count as passing out, just as being Bored to Death doesn’t. I could see it going either way, but I didn’t count it when Hetal did this last generation.

And…. Erin’s !@#$ Midlife Crisis. First of all, she completed FOUR wishes. I watched them all go. I promised everything I could and did them all, including divorcing her husband, in an attempt to get a better moodlet than “Barely Fulfilled.” That’s the moodlet I’ve gotten for every single Midlife Crisis since Generations came out. I give up.