We're All Mad Here

Jakob Ingberg hasn’t been able to get Mom out of his head since she literally cast that spell on him.

I’m not sure what Mom thinks of him, but she seems to be enjoying the attention.

Cousin Rosie can’t seem to get more babies out of her head. Before her new baby was even a toddler, she called me excitedly to report that she’s pregnant again.

I’m not sure if I’m afraid for her or…. jealous.

After Jiao headed home from our date, I had the whole rest of the night to ponder my next move.

I decided that what I needed most was to let out my frustration, so I headed to the dojo.

Since it was after midnight, the place was deserted. I slapped that training dummy silly. “Why won’t you date me??” I shouted at it.

Seriously. I’m a spell casting creature of the night, with style! Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?

As dawn approached, I just wasn’t ready to head back to my tomb. I had Evan Clark on my mind again. I wanted to see him. But the sun was rising, and I didn’t want to risk my precious skin going up in flames. What should I do?

I was getting thirsty, so I dashed across town to the grocery store to stock up on plasma fruit.

After that rock hunting debacle, I didn’t want to go wandering around without a good source of sustenance. While nothing can compare to the exquisite taste of blood fresh from the vein, I need to be more practical.

There was a rack in the back of the grocery store labeled, “Magical Elixir Clearance: 50% off!”

Suddenly I had an epiphany. I had been raised as a vampire, and my life was defined by the social expectations of vampires. But I was stronger than that. I could choose my own destiny. I could meet Evan under the sunlight if he was working at night.

I grabbed a few elixirs. The very first I needed to use was vampiric sunscreen. I rubbed the green glowing liquid all over my skin. It tingled.

The effect was dramatic. Nothing could say, “liberated vampire” like a cloud of sparkles. This could reshape my entire personal style.

I whipped out my phone and called Evan.

“Hey, what?” he said.

“Are you all right?” I asked. “You sound terrible.”

“I was sleeping,” Evan said. “You know I work nights, right? Could you wait to call until after lunch?”

“I’d like to make it worth your while,” I said. “Would you please join me at Perspective Park?”

“This better be worth it,” Evan said.

That had gone well. I headed across the street to Perspective Park to wait for him.

Fortunately, there was plenty of of art for me to critique. I must have gotten lost in the all the inappropriate color combinations, because before I knew it, Evan was walking toward me with flowers in his wake.

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said.

“I was getting up anyway,” Evan said. “I couldn’t get back to sleep after you called.”

“I didn’t mean to make you lose sleep,” I said. “I don’t have a good sense of your personal schedule. Honestly, if you sleep during the day, that makes it easier for me to see you.”

“If that makes you happy,” Evan said awkwardly.

“Actually,” I said, “it makes me ecstatic. Here’s the surprise I promised.” I threw the elixir at his feet.

Evan jumped back as I threw. “Franklin!” he shouted. “What the hell are you–”

The elixir smashed at his feet, engulfing him in its bright glow. Evan made a strangled noise.

Then he looked at me with new eyes. “Wow,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a ass to you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I guess I just have to be tough all the time. It’s hard to break into a career as a musician. I feel like I can never be vulnerable to anyone.”

“It’s all right,” I told him. “I knew that you’d give me a chance if was patient. I just got impatient. That’s all.”

“I’m glad you stuck with it,” Evan said. “I could use some patience in my life. I just broke up with my girlfriend Kari because she got all clingy and stuff.”

 

I couldn’t believe my luck. I stepped in closer and drew Evan into my arms, letting my vampiric magnetism wash over him. “Clingy? I asked. I hope that’s not anything like…this…” I caressed his back with the tips of my fingers.

 

Evan pulled me into a full embrace. “Hell no!” he said. “I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trust you right now.”

This was the moment. There was magic, and I knew we both felt it. I leaned in to kiss him, but to my shock, Evan drew back.

“Oh hey!” he said. “Look at the time! I forgot I had a date with Fjord Perry. This was an amazing time, man. Let’s do it again!”

Then he turned and walked away.

What just happened?

I stood in front of the family townhome and sulked, watching our cats torment a local raccoon.

Inside, Daisy was waiting with a playful look on her face.

At least she appreciates me.

Little did I know what Imogen was going through at that moment. She stayed after school to study, only to find the Blue Lagoon bartender hanging around the school grounds looking creepy.

Then, as she watched, his ass burst into flames.

Fortunately, she knew where the fire extinguisher was, and she did him a favor.

And I thought MY day ended on a lousy note.

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And random townie bursts into fire after sunset! I love this game!

The vampiric sunscreen was something Franklin bought from the Elixir Consignment Shop a while back to drop into Justin’s inventory so I could satisfy his wish to Acquire Vampiric Sunscreen. He still had it, and it occurred to me that it might be useful to deal with Evan’s work schedule.

Ah, poor Franklin simply cannot catch a break.

But, no fails!