We're All Mad Here

When I rose at dusk, it was to the sound of wailing in the lawn outside our townhouse.

Our next-door neighbor died. It was so sad. I don’t actually remember her name. She was just a drone to expectations who reached the end of her time.

I vow to never be a drone to anything.

After collecting her soul, the Grim Reaper walked to our front door, opened it, and walked straight inside.

I followed after. “Wait, I know you’re the collector of the dead, but everyone dead here is still alive. You know what I mean. You can’t just barge into our home without cause!”

Then he started cleaning the house.

Actually, I see no reason to stand on personal boundaries at a time like this.

“I just have to shake your hand,” I said. “I’m a huge fan of your work. You collect the dead with such a timeless sense of style.”

“Who are you?” Grim rasped.

“I guess you probably don’t have much cause to pay attention to me, since I won’t be heading to the Netherworld any time soon,” I said, “but I was hoping to get some advice from one undead to another. Do you have any children? Have you ever wanted any? Because I’m starting to feel the oddest need to contribute myself to the next generation.”

“Eeeeee….” Grim said, and disappeared.

Well then.

I watched my elderly cats play with each other, and I felt even more lonely. Somehow, after being mates all these years, they knew how to keep the magic.

I had so much inherent magic, and yet I was still without a mate.

I practiced some basic charms and thought about my future. Who should I spent it with? Was it Evan? Jiao? Someone else? How do I choose?

Well, I could think of one thing to do to address my romantic angst for the moment — throw a party. I called all my family and a few choice friends.

Cousin Rosie arrived first.

Then Gideon. He didn’t bring his girlfriend, though. That’s just as well.

Uncle Branden.

Uncle Christof, rocking that cowboy hat.

Aunt Caitlin.

Aunt Deanne.

Mom wasn’t there, however. She was on a date with Khalid, the high school barista. I hope Imogen wasn’t jealous.

Then again, it’s kind of hard to tell with Imogen right now.

Both of my newly-minted vampires attended. I didn’t invite Crissy McDonough, but apparently she’s already figured out the vampiric art of party crashing.

“Hey Franklin!” Jiao shouted. “Your party sucks!”

“Pardon me,” I said. “I think I hear Evan ringing the doorbell.”

“All right everyone,” Helen said with a casual yawn, “is everyone ready for the main event?”

She headed out to the back yard to find her birthday cake.

We all trooped out to stand in the hydrangea bushes to cheer her into adulthood.

Apparently everyone else thought it was a great party.

Helen blew out her candles.

And launched herself into the next stage of her unlife.

Her first act as an adult was to complain about the broken hot tub.

“Imogen, you’re the handy one,” I said. “You could try to fix the hot tub.”

“Are you kidding? In my state, I’d probably get electrocuted and die.”

“You could go take a shower.”

“Oh, that’s too much work.”

“Do you ever clean up around here, dear?” Aunt Deanne demanded.

“Is this mocha?” Uncle Christof asked. “Mocha cake is my favorite!”

Jiao, Franklin, and Rosie brought their cake slices inside.

Everyone said it was one of the best birthday cakes they’d ever tasted. Mom would be thrilled, since she baked it.

Everyone except Gideon, of course, who didn’t get a slice.

At least he took some time to catch up with our kid brother after he was denied at the cake plate.

All family visiting didn’t go so well. Deanne accused Helen of being a monster in front of everyone. On her birthday.

“I don’t mean to brag, but Franklin is really into me,” Jiao confided in Imogen.

“I hate to break it to you, but right now he looks like he’s really into that green guy,” Imogen said.

I looked deeply into Evan Clark’s eyes. “I need to ask you something,” I said. “I’ve been waiting to ask you this for a long time. Too long.”

Evan leaned close. “Ask me,” he said.

“Would you start a band with me?”

Evan dug it.

“You’re going to play music?” Rosie said. “In front of people? This I’ve got to see!” She burst out laughing.

“Glad to know I have your support,” I said.

I headed upstairs for some air, and I found Lin Valstrom hanging out up there.

“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing away from the party?” It’s going great downstairs.”

“Actually,” she said, “I was kind of hoping to get you alone to talk about us.”

“Us?” I said. “I’m so sorry, Linn. There is no us. I’ve moved on.”

“You’ve moved on?” Linn said. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I thought that failing to call you for weeks would have made the message pretty clear.”

“But you turned me into a vampire,” Linn said. “I thought you wanted to be with me for eternity.”

“That’s a common misconception,” I explained patiently. “Most times a vampire sires another vampire, It’s not for eternal companionship.”

“You’re a jerk, Franklin Wonderland,” she said, “and I don’t need you.”

“Great,” I said. “That’s just what I was hoping for.” And I headed back downstairs to the party.

Behind me, I could hear her say, “But you sure throw an amazing party. Invite me next time.”

In the kitchen, Aunt Deanne’s side of the family was hanging around with my second vampire conquest, Chrissy McDonough, who was bragging about her new sensual life as a creature of the night.

In addition to vampire speed and long life, she has a new, very young boyfriend.

Clearly, she appreciates the gift I gave her.

The rest of the party had moved to the basement to listen to Jiao play the keyboard.

I had to admit that she was pretty good. Imogen was so wrapped up in the music that she almost lost track of basic bodily functions. Fortunately for the carpets, she did make it to the bathroom in time.

“Wow!” Evan said. “You’re almost as good as I am!”

Watching them, I suddenly had an idea.

“Jiao,” I said. “Could I have a word with you?”

“Actually,” Jiao said. “We’re all leaving now.”

She headed up the stairs. But I knew in that moment that I couldn’t let her walk out without talking to me yet again.

I raced up the stairs with vampire speed. “Wait! Jiao! I need to talk to you!”

Jiao stopped at the doorway. “Okay,” she said. “Talk to me.”

“Boo!” Aunt Caitlin shouted. “It sucks that this party is over!”

I’m not entirely sure that Aunt Caitlin knows where she is anymore. She’s getting on in years.

“Jiao, would you join a band with me and Evan Clark?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Actually, that’s a great idea!”

So we said goodbye and promised to get together to rehearse very soon.

Inside, I discovered that nobody had been paying attention to Justin’s beadtime. He was so exhausted he couldn’t see where he was walking.

Which led to the expected result.

Imogen broke everything in the bathroom. And she’s supposed to be the Handy one.

At least she finally took a shower, so she doesn’t look like the fallout from a nuclear holocaust anymore.

My friends and family left an enormous mess for me to clean up. And what is that orange ball anyway? Is it supposed to be food?

Taking the time to clean up gave me some precious quiet time to think.

All this time, I’ve been trying to decide whether I should convince Evan Clark or Jiao Hatfield to be my mate. But wasn’t that just being slave to default monogamy? Why did I have to choose?

Couldn’t I have them both?

At last I could sleep the sleep of the dead. No worries.

 

---

Fails: Passing Out 23 + 1 = 24

Long post for this challenge, but a lot happened at the party!

Franklin wishes for both Jiao and Evan a lot, so I gave up trying to choose. Franklin’s an Avant Garde sim. Why should he be constrained by social expectations??

Generation 3 shall be an extra kind of dysfunctional, and Generation 4 will get extra genetic diversity. So there!.

Oh, and Franklin has been spawning all sorts of wishes about starting a band and asking Evan and Jiao to join it, so I guess that’s what he’s going to be doing :).

Jakob Ingberg hasn’t been able to get Mom out of his head since she literally cast that spell on him.

I’m not sure what Mom thinks of him, but she seems to be enjoying the attention.

Cousin Rosie can’t seem to get more babies out of her head. Before her new baby was even a toddler, she called me excitedly to report that she’s pregnant again.

I’m not sure if I’m afraid for her or…. jealous.

After Jiao headed home from our date, I had the whole rest of the night to ponder my next move.

I decided that what I needed most was to let out my frustration, so I headed to the dojo.

Since it was after midnight, the place was deserted. I slapped that training dummy silly. “Why won’t you date me??” I shouted at it.

Seriously. I’m a spell casting creature of the night, with style! Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?

As dawn approached, I just wasn’t ready to head back to my tomb. I had Evan Clark on my mind again. I wanted to see him. But the sun was rising, and I didn’t want to risk my precious skin going up in flames. What should I do?

I was getting thirsty, so I dashed across town to the grocery store to stock up on plasma fruit.

After that rock hunting debacle, I didn’t want to go wandering around without a good source of sustenance. While nothing can compare to the exquisite taste of blood fresh from the vein, I need to be more practical.

There was a rack in the back of the grocery store labeled, “Magical Elixir Clearance: 50% off!”

Suddenly I had an epiphany. I had been raised as a vampire, and my life was defined by the social expectations of vampires. But I was stronger than that. I could choose my own destiny. I could meet Evan under the sunlight if he was working at night.

I grabbed a few elixirs. The very first I needed to use was vampiric sunscreen. I rubbed the green glowing liquid all over my skin. It tingled.

The effect was dramatic. Nothing could say, “liberated vampire” like a cloud of sparkles. This could reshape my entire personal style.

I whipped out my phone and called Evan.

“Hey, what?” he said.

“Are you all right?” I asked. “You sound terrible.”

“I was sleeping,” Evan said. “You know I work nights, right? Could you wait to call until after lunch?”

“I’d like to make it worth your while,” I said. “Would you please join me at Perspective Park?”

“This better be worth it,” Evan said.

That had gone well. I headed across the street to Perspective Park to wait for him.

Fortunately, there was plenty of of art for me to critique. I must have gotten lost in the all the inappropriate color combinations, because before I knew it, Evan was walking toward me with flowers in his wake.

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said.

“I was getting up anyway,” Evan said. “I couldn’t get back to sleep after you called.”

“I didn’t mean to make you lose sleep,” I said. “I don’t have a good sense of your personal schedule. Honestly, if you sleep during the day, that makes it easier for me to see you.”

“If that makes you happy,” Evan said awkwardly.

“Actually,” I said, “it makes me ecstatic. Here’s the surprise I promised.” I threw the elixir at his feet.

Evan jumped back as I threw. “Franklin!” he shouted. “What the hell are you–”

The elixir smashed at his feet, engulfing him in its bright glow. Evan made a strangled noise.

Then he looked at me with new eyes. “Wow,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a ass to you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I guess I just have to be tough all the time. It’s hard to break into a career as a musician. I feel like I can never be vulnerable to anyone.”

“It’s all right,” I told him. “I knew that you’d give me a chance if was patient. I just got impatient. That’s all.”

“I’m glad you stuck with it,” Evan said. “I could use some patience in my life. I just broke up with my girlfriend Kari because she got all clingy and stuff.”

 

I couldn’t believe my luck. I stepped in closer and drew Evan into my arms, letting my vampiric magnetism wash over him. “Clingy? I asked. I hope that’s not anything like…this…” I caressed his back with the tips of my fingers.

 

Evan pulled me into a full embrace. “Hell no!” he said. “I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trust you right now.”

This was the moment. There was magic, and I knew we both felt it. I leaned in to kiss him, but to my shock, Evan drew back.

“Oh hey!” he said. “Look at the time! I forgot I had a date with Fjord Perry. This was an amazing time, man. Let’s do it again!”

Then he turned and walked away.

What just happened?

I stood in front of the family townhome and sulked, watching our cats torment a local raccoon.

Inside, Daisy was waiting with a playful look on her face.

At least she appreciates me.

Little did I know what Imogen was going through at that moment. She stayed after school to study, only to find the Blue Lagoon bartender hanging around the school grounds looking creepy.

Then, as she watched, his ass burst into flames.

Fortunately, she knew where the fire extinguisher was, and she did him a favor.

And I thought MY day ended on a lousy note.

---

And random townie bursts into fire after sunset! I love this game!

The vampiric sunscreen was something Franklin bought from the Elixir Consignment Shop a while back to drop into Justin’s inventory so I could satisfy his wish to Acquire Vampiric Sunscreen. He still had it, and it occurred to me that it might be useful to deal with Evan’s work schedule.

Ah, poor Franklin simply cannot catch a break.

But, no fails!

 

 

It’s report card day, and that tells us all sorts of things about how my younger brothers and sisters are doing. Justin needs to tweak his academic strategy. He’s been staying up all night to do homework.

Which landed him a detention for sleeping in class.

On the same day that he made the honor roll.

Imogen doesn’t want to talk about her grades, even to me.

But she’s been trying to get extra credit by staying after school to do service projects. I wish her luck.

I’m just grateful that I’m free of the entire educational system. It’s always been a way to force creative minds into tight little uninteresting boxes. My mind is free.

Speaking of free minds, I thought I’d make another attempt to take that intriguing genie Jiao out to dinner.

This time, she agreed to meet me at The Blue Lagoon, and she even arrived there before me.

“Franklin!” she said when she saw me. “Have you ever been to this place. I was hoping it would be more green.”

“I don’t know. I was kind of expecting it to be blue,” I admitted.

“It’s not that either,” Jiao pointed out. “Very disappointing.”

“Does this mean you’re going to leave again?” I asked.

Jiao shrugged. “No,” she assured me. “I’m not bored yet.”

“Then why don’t we go inside and see if we can keep you entertained,” I suggested.

I grabbed a blood box and sat down at a table near the bar. I’d sort of expected Jiao to join me, but she was caught up in making fun of the bartender.

“Get a load of that guy!” she said. “I wanted more green, but I didn’t expect to see it on his skin!”

“You realize that I have green skin,” I pointed out. “He and I could be related.”

“Oh, that’s not the same thing,” Jiao said. “It looks good on you. Did I mention this drink is terrible?”

“Why don’t you let me buy you a drink instead?” I suggested with a suave smile, if I do say so myself. “I have it on good authority that these are very good.”

“Oh, you know, these are better!” Jiao said with delighted surprise. “I guess the bartender really can do something right.”

“Do you know that guy from somewhere else?” I asked.

“No, she said. I just know his type.”

“What type is that?” I asked, fascinated.

“Bartender,” she said.

“Tell me about your life as a genie!” I said. “I’m absolutely fascinated by the life of other supernatural beings. I did mention that I’m a supernatural being, didn’t I? I’m a creature of the night.”

“You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things people ask for!” Jiao said. “The perfect ballgown! A handsome prince! Why not just ask for infinite wealth and buy yourself an infinite supply of professional companions? I’m glad I’m free now. Mortals don’t make any sense.”

“I have to agree with that,” I said. “We supernaturals really are superior.”

I took the candid moment to really absorb the aura and vibrations around her.

I have to admit that the pub’s ambiance didn’t put her in the best light.

Meanwhile, Mom decided to perform a piano concerto at the theater. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. She can barely play the piano.

Apparently the theater billed it as a new experimental post-tonal composition, and the audience loved it.

I’m sorry I missed it. I enjoy experimental post-tonal music.

She came home to celebrate, and instead she saw Imogen’s report card.

Mom believes no child of hers is too old to go stand in the corner.

After our drinks, Jiao and I took in a keyboard concert. This one was much more tonal.

As soon as the keyboardist finished. Jiao sprang up with that enticing genie glow. “Thanks for the free drinks, Franklin. Call me if you want to pay for my food again!”

And then she was gone.

I just new I had to see her again.

---

Well, I get to count up something good for a change!

Kids on honor roll: 3 + 1 = 4

I had the hardest time writing this one for some reason.

 

News from Gideon is that he’s already over his elderly love Fjord Perry. Now he has a new girlfriend.

I hear she’s terrifying.

(Note: I want them to have babies so baaaad….)

We celebrated Mikhail’s birthday with some new kitty toys.

And spent all afternoon watching them play.

I’m serious. Is this not literally the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?

Mikhail’s mate Nova couldn’t let him have all the fun.

Or Micky (right) and Daisy (left).

Goofy.

Cute cats are a work of art that you just can’t trap in a picture frame.

After a while, though, even watching the cats play became boring. I was longing for some company.

Fortunately, Evan was free.

“It’s so nice that you have friends!” Mom exclaimed. “Let’s all hang out together. Just treat me like one of the guys.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, Mom, for many reasons.”

So we ended up playing dominoes. Not exactly what I had in mind.

Evan does cut a striking figure.

“So, tell me about your life,” I said to Evan. I figured that could give me a better segue to get to know him better.

“It’s been a rough day,” he said.

“I started dating Kari Wonderland-Holton, and her dad kicked her out of the house.”

“What?” I said. “You realize you’re talking about my Uncle Christof? He kicked my cousin out of the house for dating you?”

“That’s what it looks like,” Evan agreed. “Actually, your mom is kind of hot too.”

“I don’t want to have this conversation.”

I changed the subject by getting up to get my groove on. There’s nothing like the string bass.

Evan glared at me.

“Why the long face?” I asked.

“You sound terrible,” Evan said.

“If you know music so well, why don’t you tell me how it’s done?” I said.

“All right, then, I will!” Evan said. He grabbed the guitar.

Dang. He really does know how to play.

“Great Watcher, you’re amazing!” I said.

“Sorry, I have to go to work now,” Evan said. He dropped the guitar and ran out of the house.

Wow, it his hard to get the time of day from this guy.

---

No fails!

Also no mate for Franklin yet. This generation is turning out to be a real spouse challenge. I can’t seem to get either of the candidates to hang out with Franklin long enough for him to put the moves on them.