We're All Mad Here

I woke up at dusk and headed downstairs.

“Hello, sleepyhead,” Mama said.

“Mom!” I said. “I’m undead! Treat me with dignity!”

“Oh, is being undead dignified? You should have told that to your father.”

I looked around. The kitchen was empty except for me and Mom.

“Oh, they’re about,” Mom said, and she proceeded to tell me.

Justin was brown-nosing his teacher by running errands outside of class.

Imogen said she had to do some research for a book report.

A book she really, really hated.

Helen was admiring herself.

Before I could get Mom to stop the family gossip, the phone rang. Not a moment too soon!

It was Linn Valstrom. Why was she calling me?

Oh, right…. she’s my girlfriend.

“Hey Frankie!” she cooed on the other end of the line. “I haven’t seen you in ages! We should totally get together tonight!”

Frankie?

“I was planning to write poetry tonight,” I admitted, “but it could be fun to go out on a date. What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll meet you at the bowling alley in half an hour,” Linn said and hung up.

Bowling? That’s not really my style, or really any style at all, but I guess it was decided.

While I was standing outside the bowling alley, thinking about how the wall decorations are such a joke, Linn came up behind me.

“Frankie! I’ve missed you so much!” She cried. “You are the sun that lights up my life.”

“That’s a pretty flawed analogy,” I said. “I can’t even go out in the sun. I burn up, remember? Perhaps I can be the clouds that block out your sun.”

“Hmm,” Linn said. “That doesn’t have the same ring to it.

So we went inside to bowl for a while.

This place makes my eyes hurt. It’s filled with tasteless patterns that clash with other tasteless patterns. Pings and beeps and buzzes. Dim lights with bright flashes. This place needs to pick a theme and stick to it.

In spite of the artistic disaster, it turns out that I am brilliant at bowling.

“One pin left!” I shouted to Linn. “Beat that.”

“All, right!” she cried. “Did that!”

Meanwhile, Mom was having a romantic adventure of her own.

Magnus Mango asked her out on a date.

I guess she’s over my dad and ready to move on. If I were in her place, I would still be pining away in grief, but I guess I can’t judge. She doesn’t have the same appreciation of the beautiful darkness of despair that Dad and I do.

They met in the forest at dusk. Apparently, there was some real chemistry between Mom and Magnus.

But just as things were starting to get good, he had the uncontrollable urge to go rob a grocery store or something.

Mom knows how to pick them.

At least she had a chance to catch up on her reading. In the woods alone. In the dark.

While she was gone, Gideon realized that he had been eating dinner for hours, and he was exhausted.

So he went to get another bite to eat.

I think he needs to review the correct procedure to deal with sleepiness.

“I think I have humiliated you enough at bowling,” Linn said. “Do you have any other ideas for the evening?”

I took her into my arms. “Of course!” I said. “The evening’s just getting started.”

“Of course! You’re such a romantic! Get ready for a big dip!”

“We have dated all the way through high school,” I said. “Now that we’re both adults, I wonder if you would like to take this relationship to the next level.”

“Oh Frankie!” Linn said. “I thought you’d never ask.”

I dropped my voice low, purring so that only she could hear it. “I can’t help it. You just seem so …. delicious.”

“You really are delicious!”

Mmmm!

“Frankie!” Linn said “That wasn’t what I had in mind at all!”

“No?” I said. “I can do one better. Come closer.”

“Let me show the darkness inside of me!”

“That closer to what you had in mind?”

“Um, no,” Linn said. “Why don’t I just show you?”

So we left the bowling alley and headed to the much more tastefully artistic theater.

“So you want to see a film?” I said. “I hope it’s a foreign independent one.”

“Not exactly,” she said. “Just follow me.”

“Well, I appreciate the darkness….” I said.

“Hush,” Linn said.

Oh.

Ooooooh.

“NOW our relationship is on the next level,” Linn said.

“This has been the most enlightening night,” I said. “I have shown you the darkness of my soul, and you’ve shown me the pinnacles of pleasure. The sun is rising now, so I must leave you. My dark soul will call to yours for every moment we’re apart.”

“Sure thing, I guess,” Linn said. “Maybe the woohoo will be better next time.”

---

Another post!

My parents visited for a week, so I got even less done than usual. I’m also finally starting to get a sense of Franklin’s voice.

Also, Gideon, what the heck?

Passing out: 22 + 1 = 23

Linn is not a spouse candidate, due to being normal human until Franklin turned her — I love that bat animation for making vampires. He has 4 more sims to turn for that part of his LTW, and it may be a challenge to find that many normal humans!