We're All Mad Here

The next day dawned bright and sunny. It was just the right day for the huntress Minnie Wonderland to show her apprentice Goofy how it’s done.

She began by showing her kitten brother the prey.

Goofy watched with breathless admiration as she crouched, silently, then leapt into action.

I don’t think Goofy was all that impressed.

Inside the house, we finally settled into life without our father and partner. We set William’s urn in the living room, where we could all feel the presence of his spirit from the Netherworld.

Then we got out the broom and dustpan and cleaned up the rest of him.

The family called with good news and bad news. My niece Rosie tied the knot. I’m not sure why they didn’t invite us. I’m sure there was a good reason.

And my brother Branden had to lay our beloved old cat to rest. She lived a long life. Rest in peace.

I could tell that my next case was going to be a long, hard one. Just talking to my client made me want to starve myself to death.

This case was big — the kind of case that makes or breaks careers. I intended for it to make mine.

But it wasn’t going to be easy. This was about corruption at the very top of the Aurora Skies’ food chain. Corruption never sleeps, and neither would I.

I began with an all night stakeout at the park.

The dark silence of a long stakeout can really get to you. After a while you see, or think you see, some pretty strange stuff.

Fortunately, I’m an old pro. Nothing gets to me.

I can lurk in the shadows for as long as it takes, silent and unseen, until the moment to pounce.

I hope the kids can manage all right without me.

They’re growing up, but they’ve been through a lot with the loss of their father. I hate to think of them up late worrying about their other parent.

In the morning, Christof showed up with Randolph and their daughter Kari for a day at the park. He waved from across the path and shouted, “Hey sis! What are you up to?”

“Hush!” I hissed. “I’m invisible over here!”

After all these hours of stakeout, he could totally have blown my cover! But I was in luck. My quarry finally arrived to seal the deal.

It was Jennika Wong, the sweet little girl who used to play at our house and watch her father die in our basement. Now she was grown up and facing a life of crime. Tragic.

Wait, are those scales??

What kind of creature is she?

After Jennika and her contact left, I poked around the spot where she had been standing, looking for clues.

Christof’s daughter Kari totally ruined the mood by shouting at me from her Sim Gnubb game. “Hey, Aunt Erin? Are you doing detective stuff? That’s awesome!”

I can focus much better when my extended family doesn’t follow me to work.

Kari’s doing all right for herself these days. She started a career in looking at dead people.

Christof was the next one to break my concentration. “Hey sis! Great to see you out and about. Want to shoot some hoops?”

I tried to brush him off in a friendly way. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Today I have to get someone arrested.”

Then I saw poor Randolph in an argument with

 

My old friend Melanie Worthington was finally able to provide me the lead I needed. I’m including a picture of her here because she provided valuable testamony, not because I think her wings are gorgeous. Honest.

I met up with my client, Detective Cassidy Wrede, to report my suspicions. This was no small police corruption ring. This was a conspiracy that reached all the way to the top.

“The top?” Cassidy asked nervously. “How high is the top?”

“Erica Berge,” I sad. “The Vice President of the Free World.”

Cassidy looked like she was going to be sick.

“This is above my pay grade,” I told her. “You need more than one gumshoe to bring down something this big.”

“One gumshoe is all I have,” Cassidy pleaded. “I can’t bring in anyone else. If we don’t root out the conspiracy, my job or even,” she gulped, “my life could be in danger.”

What can I say? I’m a sucker for a cop in distress.

“All right,” I said. “If we do this, we do it my way.”

“What’s your way?” Cassidy asked.

“A sting,” I told her.

Cassidy suddenly pushed me out of the way. “Look out!”

I jumped back as an enormous black stallion brought its hooves down where I had been standing.

“That was close,” I panted. “I never would have thought they’d use wild horses to take us out. We have to wrap this case up before innocent people get hurt.”

I called my kids to tell them that I wouldn’t be home tonight. “You’ll have to find your own dinner,” I told them. “Everything’s fine. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“That’s fine,” Imogen told me. “There’s plenty of birthday cake in the fridge. Justin! Get down off the furniture!”

I hope they’ll be all right. I never lose track of the sacrifices I make to serve the city in its time of need.

The game was on.

The Vice President of the Free World had a weakness, and I was just the person to ferret it out.

That weakness turned out to be named Oskar Olsen. He was her personal assistant. According to rumors around the capital, he was just a little bit gullible. It was a small advantage, but it was what we had.

I drove to Olsen’s house at sunset.

He met me at his front steps.

 

“I’m from the government employee incentives department,” I told him. “I’m here to tell you’ve won the hardest-working secretary award for Aurora Skies!”

Oskar was overjoyed. “Really?” he squealed. “I knew all that overtime would pay off!”

At that point, my brother Branden’s fiancée Shaun Ivy showed up with her whole extended family.

As they pushed their way into the house, I grabbed Shaun’s arm and held her back. “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“Oskar makes great nachos,” Shaun said. “We dropped by to eat and watch football. But wait a minute. What are YOU doing here. Are you two going on a date? I know it’s kind of soon, but you’d be so cute together!”

Me and Oskar Olsen?

Ewww.

“I’m here on a totally professional capacity,” I said quickly. And that was true, after all. It was my job to lie about why I was here. “I just need to borrow Oskar for a short award ceremony down at the courthouse.”

“What do I need to do?” Oskar asked eagerly.

“Call your boss Ms. Berge and ask her to meet us at the courthouse. Then we can complete the paperwork and present you with a big fat check!”

“Wow, the Vice President?” Oskar squeaked. “All, right! I’ll do it!”

He called his boss, and she agreed to meet us at the courthouse. It was like butter.

I hoped Detective Wrede could make good on her end of the plan.

As I held the door to my van open for Oskar Olsen, I thought again of my kids.

This was so unfair to them, leaving them alone and anxious with no adults.

I hope while they’re home and lonely,

they can remember that I’m doing this all to make the world a better place for them.

Oskar and I arrived at the courthouse.

 

Where I distracted him with a quick enchantment.

Vice Present Berge was there on schedule, along with the Second Gentleman.

“Is Oskar here?” Erica Berge asked. “He said it was important!”

“It is, Madam Vice President,” I said. “Very important. I need to talk to you in your office.”

And that was it. Erica Berge started to suspect something, but it was too late. She couldn’t get out of escorting me to her office now.

Meanwhile, Detective Wrede lured her corrupt colleagues in the back door.

We all showed up at Vice President Berge’s office at the same time. In the moment of shock, our suspects threw all sorts of accusations at each other that I won’t repeat hear. I don’t need to. We caught it all on tape.

Cassidy Wrede had the unexpected honor of handcuffing the Vice President of the Free World and reading her her rights.

I’m glad I’m just a gumshoe.

Though, I have to say, Erica Berge might have been a crooked politician, but she sure was hot.

———-

And this is it! The last post before the heir poll!

This was the Cop Gone Bad case — the longest, most confusing, and most glitch-infested case in the Private Eye career, I think. I try not to give a blow-by-blow of all Erin’s cases, but there was so much entertaining byplay while she hacked her way through this one over the course of about 36 sim-hours.

She did the stakeout five times, literally all night. The first time, one of the sims showed up, but the other one didn’t make it. Then I did the action over and over again, and each time it completed without anyone showing up. The glitch didn’t seem that different from the bug that I thought I fixed by removing GoHere. This turned out to be something different, though. It looks like if the game summons two inactives to complete a stakeout action and only one of them gets there before the stakeout times out, the whole opportunity gets into an unrecoverable state. I had to reset Erin for the stakeout to start over and send two people to whisper to each other.

Erin’s barely more than halfway through her lifetime wish of 35 completed cases. That’s a lot of cases. However, she’s just pixels of job performance away from topping out her career. There is that.

I was kind of hoping we’d get to see more of Justin before the heir poll, but it was not to be. This is about as far as I can play without knowing who the heir is. So on we go! Heir poll time!!

Poll up as soon as I can assemble it. Probably tomorrow.