We're All Mad Here

William was off again, this time to work, and we still needed to have The Talk. Wow, was he really making me work for my choice of mate!

I had now been up more than 36 hours with one nap. But I was so close now, I could taste it. So I decided to get out some of those radioative-looking stimulant elixirs that Mum was hoarding. I asked her where she got them. She said a friend. Uh-huh.

Whew! So refreshing.

I got aboard my new Hoover 2000 and sped off to the fire station.

I was so fast that the fire station didn’t even have a chance to render.

William was pretty surprised to see me.

“What is with you?” he cried. “Do you ever stop?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t ever stop. And what’s more, you don’t want me to.”

“So here’s the deal,” I told him. “Now that you have me, I’m all you have. You’re not going to do so much as look at another woman.”

William’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re kidding, right? I mean, this is me. I don’t tie myself down to one woman.”

“Maybe you didn’t before,” I said,  “but you’ve never met a witch like me. I’m going to whip your womanizing ass into shape. Your pert, round, squeezable, womanizing ass… but I digress. You’re going to be faithful to me because you want to be.”

“You’re a great lay,” William said with a sneer, “but you’re crazy.”

“Oh baby,” he said when I pulled away. “Don’t stop now!”

“The first thing you’re going to do is call me by my name,” I said.

William’s eyes widened. “Uh…”

“It’s Erin,” I said helpfully.

“Erin,” he said.

I gave him a reward. “Good boy. Now let’s pack up your things and go home.”

And that’s how I landed the notorious vampire William Pierce.

William was very obedient. He followed me home, and the first thing he did when he got there was to set up his easel for painting.

I think his brain was still a little addled.

I, on the other hand, had a flash of inspiration about what kind of career I wanted to build.

I dashed over to City Hall to sign up for their Private Detective training program.

I ran into Mama on her way home from work. “So you decided to get a job after all?” she asked.

“Sure! And wait till you see what followed me home. I’m going to keep him.”

Mama seemed pretty happy. I’m not sure if it was about the job or the man. Probably the job.

While I was gone, William got his true feelings out on canvas.

Then he called the fire house and quit his job. He said he’d been fighting fires for most of a lifetime already. He thought it would be a change of pace to hang around, spend my money, and work on his art.

He came downstairs while I was having another argument with Bungle about leaving me alone in the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“Um, sneaking up to scare you.”

“I was staring right at you.”

He looked kind of embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t the best plan, huh.”

I led him out of the bathroom and decided to show him some of my extra talents.

Wow, did I put the fear of the witch into him! I was only a good luck charm!

And it backfired. Kind of literally. Rainbows shot out of my butt.

“Wait,” William said. “That was it?”

“Ahhh. I meant to do that,” I said. “Really.”

Maybe the best solution to this problem is more woohoo.

———-

We have landed our legacy spouse! Well, legacy mate anyway. Finally. He took a lot of work.

William was Level 9 in Firefighting. He should have been able to retire him and bring home a tidy pension, but NO. When he called to retire, he got a pension of 0. Something reset when I brought him into the household, or more likely the game doesn’t handle this profession in any useful way when a sim goes from inactive to active.

Also, I love love love the flying vacuum cleaner.

I have struggled with Erin’s final trait and her LTW. I made it Alchemy Artisan because I wanted to play with Alchemy, and because I read that the Private Eye LTW didn’t work terribly well. It doesn’t seem to suit her well, though. I think I may change it. Also, she rolled Natural Cook, but that doesn’t seem to suit her all that well either.