We're All Mad Here

Comet and Nebula finally got around to growing into adults. Their two littermates grew up like two days ago.

Mama and Mum were delighted, of course.

First Comet. Or was it Nebula?

He (or she) did grow up to be a pretty cat.

Then, suddenly, William started to sob like his heart had broken.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I demanded.

“Bianca is dead!” he wailed. “We were so connected that I knew the moment she expired. Oh, I should never have left her!”

I started to try to comfort him, but Nebula (or Comet) stole the show to age up.

It was a lot to take in — William sobbing, the cats mewing, Mama and Mum cheering like loons. I was enough to make your stomach turn.

“Oh, Bianca!” William wailed. “Maybe if I’d stayed with you, you’d still be alive!”

I’m sure Bianca was a great lady, but this was not the line of thinking I wanted to encourage.

“Hey, William love,” I said. “I can make the pain go away. What do you think?”

“Oh, make my heart stop aching,” he said.

So I zapped him with the patent-pending Moodlet Manager. That made him a lot happier.

Which was a good thing because Mum immediately started making inappropriate jokes. Zombie impersonations are probably not the best way to console a grieving lover.

“Mum!” I cried. “Will you stop it! I — urk!”

I dashed to the bathroom just in time to lose my lunch. Wow. The whole scene was kind of nauseating, but this is extreme.

“Are you all right?” William asked when I returned.

“I think I just need to head to lie down,” I said.

“Me too,” William agreed. “It’s been a long day.

So we headed up to my (our!) bedroom to get settled.

I was in for a bit of a surprise!

I guess this is a vampire thing.

Pretty impressive if you ask me!

But it did mean that I would still be sleeping alone, which was a bummer.

 I guess it serves me right for choosing my lifemate from the ranks of the undead.

I woke up to the sound of explosions! It was Mum playing games on my computer. “Mum!” I complained. “Can you give us some privacy here?”

“I was just having a little fun!” Mom protested.

After she left, William was still sleeping like the dead (big surprise), but I was completely awake. I checked my email and browsed through the police department records in search of a good case to kick off my career as a private investigator.

Yes, I was browsing totally legal records. Most of them were legal. Well, some were.

I found some leads that looked promising. Then I headed down to make a nice breakfast for the two of us to celebrate our first morning together.

William said he preferred his O-positive juice box.

Ungrateful, isn’t he?

I tracked my lead to the Mome Rath Cafe, which was a really happening place for suck a dreary rainy day. I even saw Grandmama out with her friend Zuzu.

“I have the solution to your problem right here,” I told my first client.

“Huh? Where? In your ear?”

“In my brain!” Sometimes you have to spoon feed everything.

So I spent the rainy afternoon asking people about this poor fellow’s aching foot.

Hey, the job isn’t always glamorous.

Meanwhile, Mama was trying to get to know her new boyfriend-in-law.

They didn’t turn out to have a lot in common. She bored him to death.

I returned to the cafe to tell my client that he was his own worst enemy.

But something stopped me in my tracks.

Hey! I’m going to have a baby!

How about that?

———-

No fails! William was totally passing out because of Hetal’s No Sense of Humor. And brace yourself. It’s going to happen a lot more. I’m not sure I bothered taking pictures of all the times Hetal bored William to death. In retrospect, I probably should have because it’s pretty funny.

When I saw the pictures of Erin looking sick, I thought, “Surely the haven’t tried for baby already??” That’s how long ago I played this.

Generation 3 is on the way!