William had an idea, and what an idea it was.

As it turned out. It was the worst idea in his long unlife.

“I miss playing the guitar!” he told me. “Why don’t we make a family band?”

“I studied a bit of piano… at some point. I don’t rememeber when,” I said. “I could give it a try.”

Franklin decided to bang on the drums, and Gideon picked up the bass. We sounded awful, but not as awful as I thought we would! This felt pretty good!

“Hey Mom!” Gideon called. “You suck!”

That’s my boy. “You should listen to yourself!” I called back.

Then, of course, I got a phone call. It was a case.

“I have to go investigate an international black market fruit ring,” I told the family. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

I have contacts in dark places. I happened to know the name of the local fence in stolen apples. I arranged a clandestine meeting with her.

I left William in the basement, jamming with the kids. I was sure they were having a good time. I just hoped he had the good sense to take care of the important things.

He’d never get so absorbed in his music that he forgot basic necessities, would he?

Or let the kids distract him from something important?

William’s a responsible guy.

He could handle himself. And the kids.

He’d done so dozens of times before.

Why did I have such a bad feeling about this?

Yeah.

The kids told me all about it later. How Helen sobbed for her father as badly as she did the broken dishwasher.

How all the kitties showed up

to bid farewell to their favorite playmate.

How William’s spirit threw himself to the floor to beg the Grim Reaper for more time with his family.

I’ve never seen William grovel for anything, so I’ll take that as a compliment. Maybe what he really wanted was one last woohoo.

At least Justin was spared the trauma. He slept through the whole thing.

Imogen was hanging out in the basement.

She headed to school without knowing she was the last person ever to talk to William, and it had been about the fight scene in “Asskicker League Issue #26.”

Grim’s kind of a cat person himself. After he rained despair and death on my household, he hung around to play with Mikhail.

And that’s how I found him when I got home from bringing the produce thieves to justice.

I’m going to skip the conversation I had with Grim. I’d just lost the best woohoo of my life. I’m not responsible for what I said.

I found Helen hanging out in the bathroom.

“Why are you not in school?” I demanded.

“Mom! Dad just died in front of me!”

“That’s no excuse! Get to school or your grounded!”

I escorted Helen to the door.

And made sure she headed to school.

And found Franklin hanging out by the door. I read him the same riot act. “Our personal tragedy is no excuse for skipping school!”

“But Mom! I really have to pee!”

“You should have thought of that earlier!”

Then I stopped yelling. I had an uncontrollable urge to catch raindrops on my tongue.

Franklin took the chance to grab his broken umbrella and dash out to school.

He was exhausted and desperate to pee, but he managed to make it school without embarrassing himself.

Then the house was silent, except for the toddler howling in his crib upstairs. Numbly, I took him out of bed and set him down on the floor to play.

He had no idea there was anything wrong.

Then I headed downstairs to drown my sorrows in a plate of waffles.

“What am I going to do without him?” I asked Bungle in despair. “No more painting at all hours.”

“No more hard pecs and firm sixpack against me…”

“Are you going to get around to fixing the dishwasher?” Bungle asked.

“I think you’re missing the big picture here!” I cried. “I’m a widow!”

“No you’re not, technically speaking,” Bungle pointed out. “You already divorced him.”

“I was hormonal,” I retorted. “I didn’t mean it. We were going to get remarried.”

I couldn’t bring myself to take down William’s easel yet.

Maybe his spirit would someday come to finish his painting.

———-

Untimely Deaths: 0 + 1 = 1

So, that happened.

When I saw it coming, I had to talk myself out of shutting down the game and loading from my last save. This is, after all, the great WTF of playing an idiot challenge.

William was within throwing distance of getting a Master of the Arts LTW. All I had to do was get him to play the guitar a bit more. I saw Somebodysangel of the Young Reverse ISBI get her idiots to play instruments by jamming with them and then canceling out to do other things. When William rolled the wish to jam with Erin, I thought it was a great idea. Erin even had a piano skill point lying around — maybe from playing xylophone as a toddler? Then I thought, “Hey! What about a family band?” So I got them all in on the action.

Then, for some reason only The Sims knows, William didn’t drop his queue when he got to a -40 thirst moodlet. He didn’t start complaining about thirst until he’d been sitting on the emergency -80 moodlet for a while. And even then, he might have made it to the fridge if Imogen hadn’t desperately needed to talk about comic books RIGHT THEN.

Erin was off the lot the whole time. She couldn’t help at all. He was the definitive ISBI victim.

Clearly, the Madly Thirsty moodlet didn’t actually last 24 sim-hours. I’m not sure what was up with the label. Everyone came home from Love Day using the Moodlet Mobile, so they had full needs in the middle of the night. I think they started jamming sometime after midnight. Erin headed back home from her case when it became clear that disaster was imminent, but she didn’t make it home in time. She arrived around 10AM, thus all the scolding for missing school. The time between the start of the jam and William’s death couldn’t have been more than 8 sim-hours. Maybe the moodlet was mislabeled because due to some kind of calculation glitch from William’s extended vampire lifespan? If I’d realized just how little time he had left, I’d’ve sent Erin home earlier.

Franklin did manage to make it to school without passing out or peeing himself, even with the scolding delay. I don’t think he even passed out on the way home, which is remarkable.

Goodbye, William. You were a truly awesome idiot spouse. Your great genes will live on.

I woke up feeling like a million bucks.

“I have big plans for today,” I told Bungle as I munched on the waffles thats someone had kindly left on the counter for me.

Like teaching Justin to poop on his own!

Isn’t he so adorable with his toy yeti?

Deanne called. She has a new girlfriend! It’s high time. She’s been mooning over the last one for ages. Maybe she’ll be a bit more fun to be around now. Also less likely to go to jail for stalking.

Helen didn’t take the news so well. “Why can’t I have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend? I don’t care which.”

The dishwasher broke. Again. Mistakes were made, but not by me.

I’ve had it with broken appliances, especially the kind that can kill you. I decided it was time to get out of the house.

Today is Love Day! We headed to the festival rather than dealing with the dishwasher.

Everyone immediately started having fun. Like Franklin, who got into a huge argument with his dad.

Franklin really seems to have learned a lot from William about how to behave. He’s a real chip off the old block.

Imogen, ever the studious one, seemed to think that the Love Day Festival was just another place to study.

William hadn’t been there long before he started feeling woozy.

“I think I’m going to–” he started to say. Then he fell right over.

And passed out.

I guess it’s not such a good thing for vampires go out in the sunlight. I guess I read that in a book.

A reporter from the local paper wrote an article about vampires passing out in the park. Justin cleaned out his noes.

After sunset, William woke up and yelled at the speaker system.

Dang it, I was determined we were going to get something good out of this Love Day if it killed me, and it just might.

“OK everyone!” I shouted. “We’re going to have a nice family picture!”

So, of course, it started to hail. OUCH!

And Justin disappeared! After I ran around the park shouting his name, I discovered that he’d been returned home by a “helpful” friend.

I dispatched a babysitter to look after him while I got the rest of the family together to get home.

The babysitter just stood there at the front door. I think he was chatting with his girlfriend or something.

Justin amused himself inside.

Justin’s such an independent little squirt.

And full of surprises!

That con man of a babysitter was sure quick to collect his money when we got home. Thanks for nothing, kid.

I think even the cats had a more inspiring Love Day than we did.

Nova’s showing her age, but she’s still got a lot of spunk.

But at least we made it through the day in one piece. I have a nice picture to show for my efforts.

Even if Justin isn’t in it.

———-

Passing Out: 18 + 1 = 19

So…. should a vampire passing out from sun exposure count as passing out? I think I’m going to say yes. I actually didn’t realize they passed out from sun exposure. It seems like I’m always running into sparking, smoking vampires hanging out in the park. If they can pass out, that makes their sun aversion a bit more powerful.

Since the heir will probably be a vampire, I think I shall have to invest in the happiness reward that turns you into a sparkly Twilight vamp.

I think I will NOT take away points for the automatic babysitter being called, though. As far as I can tell, the game glitched and reset Justin. Maybe because they were out at the park at night? It wasn’t nearly 3am, which I think is when NRaas Overwatch sends abandoned toddlers home. The hail? I can only guess.

When we got home from Christof’s party, William and I got a little distracted.

But that’s all right. Justin proved that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

He pushed open the the front door with no help at all

and headed straight to entertain himself.

I can tell that this kid and I are going to get along just fine.

I thought I heard an explosion while William and I were, ah, shaking the treehouse. If you know what I mean.

I thought our love was literally lighting things on fire, but it just turned out to be lawn gnomes. We totally need more lawn gnomes.

Imogen was back at work, keeping up her grades. I might have promised her we’d replace the cat-scratched furniture if she stayed on the honor roll.

Only when she was done did she take time to play video games with her sister. She the good habits I’m teaching my children?

Gideon and Franklin also bonded over homework. They both have big plans for the kind of money they’ll make when they graduate.

And here’s Micky being cute. Just because.

It was back to work for me. Bright at early, I was looking for new cases.

That led me to this psycho, who wanted me to find his missing lawn flamingo. What can I say? It’s a job.

At least the people love me. Or maybe they just enjoyed watching this guy embarrassing himself.

I started by asking the local burglar if she’d taken it. She was offended. She’d never waste her time on something that cheap. She has professional pride. I couldn’t blame her.

Then I got tough. “Was it you?” I demanded of Lucy, the local werewolf.

“What? Are you kidding? I hate lawn flamingos!”

But I found it. I always come through.

And it was worth it for the recognition.

Back at home, William was bonding with Justin.

This kid just can’t get enough of his block table. He’s going to be a handy little fellow.

He also really enjoys war machine toys and pretending to blow things up. Perfect.

The teens went on a field trip to the cemetery, which they all enjoyed entirely too much.

When they got home, William and Gideon bonded over comic books.

And witchcraft.

After which, William called Gideon an idiot and threatened to beat the snot out of him. Isn’t everyone’s family like this?

Meanwhile, Franklin and Helen took care of their baby brother.

They got Justin fed, changed and into bed.

While William made sure that Imogen got the bedtime attention she needed.

And I stood in the rain, rifling through somebody’s mail. Sometimes I really question my choice of careers.

But this is who I am, and I’m feeling pretty good about it overall.

I’m a successful gumshoe, and I keep the best undead partner at home.

And I can zap appliances and turn them blue.

These two things combine together well.

Gideon decided he had better things to do than sleep.

He got it into his head to have a midnight cookout.

If I were going to teach myself to cook, I’d probably have started with something that didn’t involve open flame.

It went sort of how you might expect.

But I only heard about it when I went out on the back patio and found the charred cinder that used the grill. Gideon handled the problem by himself. I slept through the whole incident.

Helen got tired of waiting for the hot dogs and conjured an apple for a snack.

She probably should have checked to see what kind of apple it was first.

Gideon wasn’t going to give up. Since now it was almost dawn, he decided to make breakfast instead.

I think at that point, he was hallucinating from lack of sleep.

Helen gave up on Gideon and went to bed. On William’s coffin.

Gideon was now by himself. The waffles came out fine, though!

They were so nice that Mum’s ghost dropped by for breakfast.

Waffles and coffee.

A great way to start the morning. Even if you’re dead.

At this point, Gideon looked around and noticed that everyone else was sleeping, even the cats. Maybe that’s what most living beings were doing at dawn.

Maybe it would be a good idea to head to bed too.

Minnie thought it was such a good idea that she had stolen his bed. She didn’t appreciate it when he kicked her off.

But, he managed to get into bed without passing out from exhaustion.

Now the only one awake was Justin, who somebody let out of his crib. He was busy educating himself as usual.

———-

Fires in Home: 3 + 1 = 4

Man, Justin is just extra cute in all those classic toddler animations. I don’t know what it is about his face.

I feel like I should have had funnier commentary. This was a hilarious segment to play through. I can’t believe Gideon managed to get to bed without either failing or burning down the house. And he put out his own fire! He didn’t even skip a beat. No freaking out. He just grabbed the fire extinguisher and put it out. He’s not Brave or Daredevil. I didn’t think he was even capable of that. Gideon is a Snob and a Savvy Sculptor, even though I haven’t been able to get him to do any sculpting. The Snob trait would make him pretty entertaining if he became heir.

I think I’m kept to the rule that autonomous eating of poisoned apples does not count as passing out, just as being Bored to Death doesn’t. I could see it going either way, but I didn’t count it when Hetal did this last generation.

And…. Erin’s !@#$ Midlife Crisis. First of all, she completed FOUR wishes. I watched them all go. I promised everything I could and did them all, including divorcing her husband, in an attempt to get a better moodlet than “Barely Fulfilled.” That’s the moodlet I’ve gotten for every single Midlife Crisis since Generations came out. I give up.

With my personal life all tidied up, I was ready to get back on the job. Out astride my vacuum, flying Mock 2 with the wind in my hair. I felt like a real woman again.

Digging through the trash of my suspect.

I had my guy. Sicko ghost impersonator. I raced by to the graveyard to complete my case.

With that complete, I had one more task to complete at the graveyard.

Ari Wong was finally laid to rest.

It felt so good to have the dead guy out of my house.

Back home, the older kids were at school, and William was back to being housedad.

He does cut quite a figure holding a baby, I must say. It almost makes me want to make another one. ALMOST.

While I’m out bringing in the big bucks, William keeps Justin engaged with an endless stream of age-appropriate educational activities.

The devotion he shows to that kid amazes me.

He also still finds some time to paint. His work has started to bring in some much-needed extra income. I have to say that I’m impressed. I could never put paint to canvass the way he does. Then again, my canvass is the human mind.

Caitlin’s second honeymoon with Peanut is over. At least that’s what I hear.

City Hall called. They wanted me to appear at the courthouse as soon as possible.

Who was I to refuse? I didn’t even stop to take a shower.

It turned out that they wanted to honor me with a medal for my great service to the city. Now I wish I’d cleaned up a little bit.

I did take a bit of time to fix my hair, though. I thought it looked better down for my photograph with the mayor.

After the award ceremony, I hoofed it to the gym.

I was a famous gumshoe now, and famous gumshoes should have bulging muscles. I wanted to look the part for my next big picture in the papers.

Meanwhile, the older kids got home from school. I can’t believe how responsible and studious they are these days.

Clearly my work ethic has rubbed off on them.

I’ve gotten some reports of the cats causing trouble around town.

They really ticked off somebody’s toddler.

While I was finishing up at the gym, I got a call from my brother Christof.

He was throwing a party to celebrate his new promotion! He was now in the major league of… some sport.

Of course we were going to go celebrate with him. In fact, we were going to make a joint party to celebrate our life events too. I got baby Justin ready to go. I couldn’t wait to introduce him to his uncle.

We all piled into a cab. Maybe the Motive Mobile was out for repairs or something.

I got a little confused about where the door was. Apparently some people have doors in their house just for cars! Who knew?

The smaller door was for people. I’d keep that in mind for next time.

I took a look around Christof’s place and headed upstairs.

To set my screaming baby Christof’s crib. His kid was much too old for it anyway.

Downstairs, Christof wasted no time getting his groove on.

Christof’s immediate family was gathering: his husband Randolph and teenage daughter Kari. Kari is the spitting image of Mama. She’d be proud.

Another guest was Christof’s friend Loki Beaker. “Come on and dance!” Christof shouted at him. “I’m alone over here!”

Loki got to dancing around the time we were ready to celebrate Helen’s birthday!

My little girl was becoming a teenager.

She looked just like me! And I mean JUST like me.

Randolph Wonderland-Holton was pretty impressed by the find food at this party. My, he’s really showing his age these days.

Imogen preferred to eat in front of the television.

Then I went upstairs to get the baby and put him on the floor.

One more birthday!

Little Justin had a lot of his father in him, but he has Mama’s gray eyes.

Then Helen and Imogen helped to clean up. Such responsible girls!

Imogen even did the dishes.

Meanwhile, Christof freaked out. “Augh! I can’t believe I’m a major-leaguer!”

William laughed at him.

Randolph grabbed his husband.”Come here,” he said. “Let me calm you down.”

“Oh, baby,” Christof murmured. “You really know how to turn me on.”

“Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” William asked. “I think we ought to do something about it.”

I gave William the naughty eye. “Great minds think alike,” I said. “Come on upstairs. I know the perfect place.”

As soon as things started to get interesting, Christof showed up. “You are NOT going to woohoo in my bed!” he cried.

Too late!

“You better clean those sheets, you hear me!”

“Mmm,” I said. “Whatever you say, brother.”

But we got out of cleaning because Randolph kicked us out.

Some folks just don’t know how to be good hosts.

———-

Honor Roll: 2 + 1 = 3

Woo. WordPress has many wonderful features, but its WYSIWYG editor is not one of them. I’m still figuring out how NOT to insert unwanted empty paragraphs all over the place. It doesn’t seem to handle the Enter key around images well at all. Advice is welcome.

This was my first Late Night party invitation since I took out GoHere. It worked great. It’s nice to have those things working properly again.

However, it turns out you actually can’t bring a birthday cake to someone else’s house and then activate it. I used DebugEnabler to open buy mode for their house and buy the cake from there. Just in the interest of full disclosure.

And hey, I didn’t make them woohoo in Christof and Randolph’s bed. That was entirely autonomous by William. In fact, Christof was actually trying to get into the bed to woohoo with Randolph. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Helen is an exact clone of Erin, but with William’s colors. She’s disqualified as heir. Bah.

Justin is both a Vampire and a Witch. He looks to have William’s skin and hair, but Hetal’s gray eyes. He’s not a clone of Erin, but that’s the best I can tell. We’ll see what he looks like when he ages. up.