Mum escorted us to our wedding in style.

We decided to get married at the Moonlight Falls Historical Society & Museum, mostly because I’d never set foot in there before.

I was really starting to believe it.

I was getting married! To the only man I’ve ever wanted! Hubba hubba!

I quickly changed into something more appropriate for a wedding.

The whole family was there! From left to right in this picture: William’s brother Anton, Branden’s girlfriend Shaun Ivy, Branden, Caitlin’s husband Peanut Ivy (brother and sister hooked up with brother and sister — how about that), and Christof. Christof’s new squeeze Randolph Holton wasn’t in this shot, and I’m not sure I even know what he looks like.

Deanne seemed pretty bored, but I think she was just jealous.

Caitlin and Grandmama arrived late and stood in the back. I don’t know who the rest of those people are. They probably just came for the cake.

“Phew!” William said as we walked under the wedding arch. “Somebody has serious b.o.! I hope that isn’t you!”

“It is absolutely not me!” I said. “Maybe it’s Deanne.”

“Focus, lover,” I said. “We’re getting married.”

“How can I focus through all that stink?” he demanded.

But then he got down to business and was a perfect gentleman.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

I hope that wasn’t just because of Deanne’s body odor.

Then the cake!

And the stampede

William made sure he got his piece.

And I guess he was so eager for cake that he forgot he needed to pee.

Great way to keep matrimony classy, lover.

———-

Self-peeing: 9 + 1 = 10

And the second fail of Generation 2 goes to William.

Man, I love weddings. Even idiot ones. Next post I promise there will be a baby.

Also, this is probably a good place to mention that I lost all the notification messages and other GUI screenshots for the first half of this generation when the Windows partition for my last computer imploded. I managed to remember to pull all the data off BUT the folder of supplemental screenshots done with Snipping Tool. So I can’t give the popup updates on Erin’s siblings.

Here’s the rundown:

Branden dated around quite a bit, then “settled down” with Shaun Ivy (a woman if you’re unsure). This is in quotes because they’ve never gotten married, and they don’t live together. Shaun lives with their sons Jamaal and Rahsaan (not sure where THAT naming convention came from — guess they really like double “a”s), and Branden is still bunking with Christof and his family.

Christof is married to Randolph Holton. They have a daughter Kari. Branden is avoiding commitment and living with them.

Caitlin and Peanut Ivy are still married, but they hate each other. Like they have seriously declared each other nemeses. They have a son Ben. I’m not going to speculate about his home life.

Deanne has dated almost every eligible sim of either gender and is currently stalking her most recent ex-girlfriend. She and her now-teen daughter Rosie live alone on a fairly large estate and keep a horse.

“So if we’re getting married…” William said. “There definitely needs to be a wild bachelor party with strippers.”

“Sure,” I said. “Let me your friends.”

Then I headed over to the supermarket to investigate my next case.

William and I, we understand each other.

While I was gone, William’s friends all dropped by.

And also my sister, who appreciates a hot female stripper as much as the next guy.

They ate our food.

William’s brother Anton showed up long enough to say that our place was a dump and leave. What a jerk.

William had to work to get the party started. Most people wanted to just stand around, eat, and talk about work. Not exactly the wild party he craved.

Enrique Weaver was so stressed about his boss that he freaked out. Or maybe he just thought William couldn’t dance.

Or maybe he thought William might not like it if he found out Enrique had just proposed to his ex-wife Beatrice.

Then it was the time they’d all been waiting for. The dancers!

Identical twins, even. I bet that gets them great tips.

Mama had her eye out for me. She watched the whole party to make sure William behaved.

When my case was done, I headed back home and broke it up.

I told the girls it was time to stop tempting my husband-to-be. They were only too glad to clock out and go home.

William followed the rules and kept his hands to himself until I got back. Probably because he knew that Mama would tattle on him.

Hmmm. If we can’t woohoo in bed, we’re going to have to invest in more woohoo-worthy furniture.

Afterward, I got the dirt on the party from Mama. She was pretty thrilled to check out the in utero grandchild.

William tried to persuade the cats that he wasn’t some kind of horrible undead monster. He was partially successful.

Then he tried to get back at Mama for boring him to death.

He went into full scary evil vampire mode.

It was quite a performance!

Mama, however, wasn’t terribly moved.

She just laughed. “You think that’s evil? You’ve got to be kidding. I do more evil than you every morning before breakfast. I’m a politician.”

It was hard for William to argue with that.

Oh, hey, random confetti! It must be time for graduation. Good thing I could wear this overcoat because I’m too pregnant to fit into my graduation gown.

William insisted on driving his fancy car to the school.

“Hey,” William said offhandedly, “your sister is really hot.”

“Oh yeah? Your brother is starting look pretty good too. We better get married right now.”

———-

No fails!

The vampire intimidate interaction is absolutely hilarious! But I haven’t seen him actually intimidate anyone with it yet.

This is the second post today, so if you didn’t see 2.4, you should go back and check.

“Your foot is hurt because you’re sleepwalking and kicking your lawn gnome,” I told my client, “and what’s better, I’m going to have a baby! Isn’t that awesome?”

When I got home, William and Mum were engaged in some kind of bonding activity.

Mum convinced him to participate in a scientific experiment.

I was suddenly afraid to talk to William. What would he think when he found out we were having a baby so soon? What if he didn’t want it.

Maybe I would write him a note.

I missed seeing Mum’s experiment go very badly.

Maybe hitting someone in the face with a duck is not a good way to make friends.

William took it *very* badly.

Then Mum got a text from someone she barely knew, inviting her to a party.

“Sorry to run out on you, but I absolutely have to be at this party!” Mum exclaimed and dashed out. That was probably smart.

Nobody actually showed up at that party, even the woman who threw it.

So Mum decided to hang out in the empty house for a while. It would give William a chance to cool off.

William came upstairs to tell me what an idiot my Mum was. “Sure,” I said. “What were you expecting?

“But you’re here for me,” I reminded him.

William growled at me, the good kind of growl. “You’re right, I’m here for you. And you want to know something crazy? I want to marry you.”

Wow! That was a turnabout! William fit in with my family just fine!

“Yes!” I said. “I even have a ring right here to make it official!”

“Really?” William said. “You’re prepared for everything.”

“I have to be,” I said. “Besides, I knew you’d come around eventually. You just did it faster than I expected!”

“You have great taste,” William purred.

“I’m glad you appreciate it,” I said.

Erm, I guess this was the best possible time to break the news.

“So this is probably an extra-specially good time to get married. Fast,” I said. “Because the thing is I’m having your baby.”

“You’re what? Wow!”

“Hey, that’s great! I only have one kid. He’s older than you are, and we’re not speaking to each other. He’s such a pansy anyway. This is a great chance to get a new one and try again.”

I can tell William’s going to be an inspired father. Inspired to what, I’m not quite sure.

Meanwhile…

Mum got bored hanging out at the pool in an empty house. So she decided to dance. And then passed out.

Good going, Mum.

———-

And the perfect streak of Generation 2 is ruined by…. Allison.

Passing out 17 + 1 = 18

And hey, he wished for it! William wished to marry Erin! If there were some way to make an idiot propose, I’d’ve done it, but I wasn’t going to waste his free action on that ;).

I thought it would be entertaining for Erin to throw William a bachelor party. So she did and then left. Not the most entertaining party. Half the group spent the party standing around in William and Erin’s bedroom.

Comet and Nebula finally got around to growing into adults. Their two littermates grew up like two days ago.

Mama and Mum were delighted, of course.

First Comet. Or was it Nebula?

He (or she) did grow up to be a pretty cat.

Then, suddenly, William started to sob like his heart had broken.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I demanded.

“Bianca is dead!” he wailed. “We were so connected that I knew the moment she expired. Oh, I should never have left her!”

I started to try to comfort him, but Nebula (or Comet) stole the show to age up.

It was a lot to take in — William sobbing, the cats mewing, Mama and Mum cheering like loons. I was enough to make your stomach turn.

“Oh, Bianca!” William wailed. “Maybe if I’d stayed with you, you’d still be alive!”

I’m sure Bianca was a great lady, but this was not the line of thinking I wanted to encourage.

“Hey, William love,” I said. “I can make the pain go away. What do you think?”

“Oh, make my heart stop aching,” he said.

So I zapped him with the patent-pending Moodlet Manager. That made him a lot happier.

Which was a good thing because Mum immediately started making inappropriate jokes. Zombie impersonations are probably not the best way to console a grieving lover.

“Mum!” I cried. “Will you stop it! I — urk!”

I dashed to the bathroom just in time to lose my lunch. Wow. The whole scene was kind of nauseating, but this is extreme.

“Are you all right?” William asked when I returned.

“I think I just need to head to lie down,” I said.

“Me too,” William agreed. “It’s been a long day.

So we headed up to my (our!) bedroom to get settled.

I was in for a bit of a surprise!

I guess this is a vampire thing.

Pretty impressive if you ask me!

But it did mean that I would still be sleeping alone, which was a bummer.

 I guess it serves me right for choosing my lifemate from the ranks of the undead.

I woke up to the sound of explosions! It was Mum playing games on my computer. “Mum!” I complained. “Can you give us some privacy here?”

“I was just having a little fun!” Mom protested.

After she left, William was still sleeping like the dead (big surprise), but I was completely awake. I checked my email and browsed through the police department records in search of a good case to kick off my career as a private investigator.

Yes, I was browsing totally legal records. Most of them were legal. Well, some were.

I found some leads that looked promising. Then I headed down to make a nice breakfast for the two of us to celebrate our first morning together.

William said he preferred his O-positive juice box.

Ungrateful, isn’t he?

I tracked my lead to the Mome Rath Cafe, which was a really happening place for suck a dreary rainy day. I even saw Grandmama out with her friend Zuzu.

“I have the solution to your problem right here,” I told my first client.

“Huh? Where? In your ear?”

“In my brain!” Sometimes you have to spoon feed everything.

So I spent the rainy afternoon asking people about this poor fellow’s aching foot.

Hey, the job isn’t always glamorous.

Meanwhile, Mama was trying to get to know her new boyfriend-in-law.

They didn’t turn out to have a lot in common. She bored him to death.

I returned to the cafe to tell my client that he was his own worst enemy.

But something stopped me in my tracks.

Hey! I’m going to have a baby!

How about that?

———-

No fails! William was totally passing out because of Hetal’s No Sense of Humor. And brace yourself. It’s going to happen a lot more. I’m not sure I bothered taking pictures of all the times Hetal bored William to death. In retrospect, I probably should have because it’s pretty funny.

When I saw the pictures of Erin looking sick, I thought, “Surely the haven’t tried for baby already??” That’s how long ago I played this.

Generation 3 is on the way!

William was off again, this time to work, and we still needed to have The Talk. Wow, was he really making me work for my choice of mate!

I had now been up more than 36 hours with one nap. But I was so close now, I could taste it. So I decided to get out some of those radioative-looking stimulant elixirs that Mum was hoarding. I asked her where she got them. She said a friend. Uh-huh.

Whew! So refreshing.

I got aboard my new Hoover 2000 and sped off to the fire station.

I was so fast that the fire station didn’t even have a chance to render.

William was pretty surprised to see me.

“What is with you?” he cried. “Do you ever stop?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t ever stop. And what’s more, you don’t want me to.”

“So here’s the deal,” I told him. “Now that you have me, I’m all you have. You’re not going to do so much as look at another woman.”

William’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re kidding, right? I mean, this is me. I don’t tie myself down to one woman.”

“Maybe you didn’t before,” I said,  “but you’ve never met a witch like me. I’m going to whip your womanizing ass into shape. Your pert, round, squeezable, womanizing ass… but I digress. You’re going to be faithful to me because you want to be.”

“You’re a great lay,” William said with a sneer, “but you’re crazy.”

“Oh baby,” he said when I pulled away. “Don’t stop now!”

“The first thing you’re going to do is call me by my name,” I said.

William’s eyes widened. “Uh…”

“It’s Erin,” I said helpfully.

“Erin,” he said.

I gave him a reward. “Good boy. Now let’s pack up your things and go home.”

And that’s how I landed the notorious vampire William Pierce.

William was very obedient. He followed me home, and the first thing he did when he got there was to set up his easel for painting.

I think his brain was still a little addled.

I, on the other hand, had a flash of inspiration about what kind of career I wanted to build.

I dashed over to City Hall to sign up for their Private Detective training program.

I ran into Mama on her way home from work. “So you decided to get a job after all?” she asked.

“Sure! And wait till you see what followed me home. I’m going to keep him.”

Mama seemed pretty happy. I’m not sure if it was about the job or the man. Probably the job.

While I was gone, William got his true feelings out on canvas.

Then he called the fire house and quit his job. He said he’d been fighting fires for most of a lifetime already. He thought it would be a change of pace to hang around, spend my money, and work on his art.

He came downstairs while I was having another argument with Bungle about leaving me alone in the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“Um, sneaking up to scare you.”

“I was staring right at you.”

He looked kind of embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t the best plan, huh.”

I led him out of the bathroom and decided to show him some of my extra talents.

Wow, did I put the fear of the witch into him! I was only a good luck charm!

And it backfired. Kind of literally. Rainbows shot out of my butt.

“Wait,” William said. “That was it?”

“Ahhh. I meant to do that,” I said. “Really.”

Maybe the best solution to this problem is more woohoo.

———-

We have landed our legacy spouse! Well, legacy mate anyway. Finally. He took a lot of work.

William was Level 9 in Firefighting. He should have been able to retire him and bring home a tidy pension, but NO. When he called to retire, he got a pension of 0. Something reset when I brought him into the household, or more likely the game doesn’t handle this profession in any useful way when a sim goes from inactive to active.

Also, I love love love the flying vacuum cleaner.

I have struggled with Erin’s final trait and her LTW. I made it Alchemy Artisan because I wanted to play with Alchemy, and because I read that the Private Eye LTW didn’t work terribly well. It doesn’t seem to suit her well, though. I think I may change it. Also, she rolled Natural Cook, but that doesn’t seem to suit her all that well either.

There I was, smooching the man of my dreams.

And then here I was, standing in the middle of the kitchen with a nosey animated doll wanting to know if we could talk.

The space-time continuum might be against me, but I was not going to give up! I ran over to William’s house as fast as my legs would carry me.

I knocked at the door, again, and he opened it.

He was just so hot.

“Hey, babe!” he said. “You’re hot! Call me sometime!”

And then he got into his car and headed off somewhere.

What IS it with the universe?

I tried to follow him.

But his car was too fast, and I was left behind.

I pulled his mobile number when I hacked the city records, and I already had it on speed dial on my phone.

“Look, chick,” he said. “I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m *busy*. Get it? If you want a good time, drop by later.”

So I had to go home, empty-handed and kissless.

This stinks.

At home, Bungle was still giving me a hard time. Mama was at work.

And the cats were judging me, I just know it.

Especially Peanut. He thinks he has life all figured out just because he has five kittens, eh?

Mum spent hours playing with her dollhouse. That made me feel better. She might have cleaned the house, but she’s still my Mum.

I tried to kill time by sending William hot text messages.

Finally Mum saw how frustrated and keyed up I was and distracted me with a good game of hackysack. I give my mum a hard time, but sometimes she can be a lot of help.

After that, I was able to calm down and take a short nap. Even with Bungle hovering over me. I know he worries, but he really just needs to chill out.

It was now after dark, and it seemed like there was a good chance that William would be home for dinner.

I headed over to his place and found exactly what I wasn’t interested in seeing.

“Uh, hey, William Pierce. I saw you this morning. I was hoping we could get some time to talk.”

William gave me an appraising look.

“Talk is a four-letter word ending in K. We can do that any time, babe.”

I am really going to have to whip this boy into shape.

But he was just so hot. How could I not do it?

So I pulled out my flowers.

And after that, it was deja vu all over again.

William’s girlfriend was, if anything, even more annoyed. I don’t think she was surprised, mind you. Just annoyed.

William may be a dirtbag, but he is an amazing kisser.

“What do you think about heading over to my place?” I asked when I could catch my breath. “I thought maybe we could continue someplace more private.”

William rewarded me with a hungry leer. “I’ll follow your privates anywhere, babe.”

So we left the old girlfriend behind and headed home.

And there we really got down to business.

I totally had my way with him. And he totally made it worth my while.

“Whoa, babe,” he said when he could make words again. “You are so incredibly hot! And great in the shower! We have got to do this again.

“Whelp! Now I have to go to work. I’ll never forget how alive you’ve made me feel. And since I’m actually not alive, that’s pretty good!”

Then he got into his fast, sexy, overcompensating car and sped away.

How can a man be so easy to get and still so hard to get at the same time??

———-

Still no fails! Generation 2 starting well!

I’m trying to post as fast as I can!

I got no place to put this, story-wise, but here’s a picture of Deanne’s daughter Rosie. She has a lot of Carmella Hai in her face, who I think is a very interesting-looking sim. Not that those features look terribly good on a toddler. I can’t wait to see what she’s like when she grows up!

It’s about time!

I’ve been waiting around to reach the age of majority for forever. And I mean seriously for my whole life.

In just a few moments, I’ll be free to make my own decisions about my life. I won’t need anyone else’s approval, not even Mama and Mum. I am so ready for this.

I really only have one birthday wish. It’s a big one. I can’t tell you what it is because that might keep it from coming true.

But I suddenly have a VERY good feeling about it!

Here we go!

All right now! It’s time to get this life started!

By Wonderland standards, it was a pretty simple celebration. It was the end of a long, tiring day. Mum had already retired, which almost seemed like a bigger deal than me becoming an adult. Fire has always been her life. But I guess when you get as old and creaky as she is, you have to give up a few things.

Mum wanted to know what my plans were for my career. I haven’t completely decided yet. I know I want something that uses my brain — which isn’t something Mum would really understands. She doesn’t do a whole lot with hers.

After we ate cake, Mama and Mum headed to bed. Old women like them have to get plenty of rest. I took a long soak and thought about what I was going to do first.

I know I need to do things like get a job and figure out what I want to do with my life, but all that’s kind of hazy. There’s one thing I’m completely sure of, though. I can’t imagine why I would wait. I’m an adult now. I don’t care if people judge me.

I got started first thing in the morning.

Bungle really got in my way. He said that I shouldn’t do anything rash. I should sit down and think this through with him.

Are you kidding? I told him to get out of my way. My whole life has been building toward this moment.

When I left, Mum was cleaning house. That was just too weird for me. Mum never cleans anything.

I headed straight out and grabbed my broom. I’d already hacked into the city records on William Pierce, and I knew everything there was to know about him.

He and his wife Beatrice had just finalized their divorce (yay!), and he was living with some chick he’d been cheating on her with. That’s where I was headed.

Wow, this lady friend of William’s had plenty of money. Her house was gorgeous.

That had to be why he was shacking up with her because it sure wasn’t her looks. I guess I thought she’d be… younger.

I’d kind of been hoping that the girlfriend would be out when I staked my claim on William, but I guess it wasn’t to be. I wouldn’t let her stop me, though.

Then William Pierce opened the door. My heart skipped a beat. If I’d ever had a doubt that I should be stalking a married vampire old enough to be my father, it was gone.

He was still the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.

“Hey there, babe!” he said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He reached out to shake my hand. He didn’t remember me at all. I was kind of disappointed.

There was this amazing energy as soon as our hands touched. William ran his eyes up and down my body and settled straight at my chest. My heart beat faster. Now I had his attention!

“Come on in,” he said. “What did you say you were here for?”

This was it!

“Actually,” I said, in my best sultry voice, “I’m here for you.”

I pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind my back and presented them to him. They were red, the color of love. I think he got the message.

“You’re what–” he began. “Hey, that’s a neat trick!”

“There’s more where that came from,” I said. “A whole lot more.”

William looked me over and offered a sensual smile. “You have my attention,” he said.

Then he leered at me, showing those vampire canines.

And I just lost control. I couldn’t keep my hands off him one of more minute!

He was shocked at first.

But not for long!

Kissing William was even better than I’d imagined all those nights lying awake in my bed, thinking about him.

There we were, standing in the middle of his girlfriend’s foyer, totally lost in each other. The only sound was his girlfriend clearing her throat in the dining room. She was totally trying to make this moment all about her, but I wasn’t going to let her do it.

I opened my mouth to confess me feelings, and…

What?

What just happened??

Was that a dream? Tell me it wasn’t a dream!

ARRRGH!

———-

And Erin starts her torcholding with a bang, and a system crash!

Also, no fails yet. Yay!

I laughed out loud when William and Beatrice divorced right in the middle of Erin’s birthday. Well, that made things easier! And they turned out to have heart-farts for each other. This little match made in last generation’s mate poll turned out to be a pretty good one!

Don’t be too surprised that William is a scumbag. This IS Spike we’re talking about.